Fact Is

The fact is I really don't know what to write about tonight. I was watching something on tv that made me want to write about soldiers and the war, but I don't know anything about it. Plus I haven't really lost anyone from the war. Sure I know a few people who've gone to war or who are there right now, but I don't claim to be their best friends or know a heck of a lot about them. Then reality hit me, so many of them are kids yet, they are my age. I wanted to join the Military, I wanted to go into the reserves, I wanted to be able to serve my country but I'm not allowed. I've got a disability that keeps me from doing even basic training stuff, so I am never going to be able to serve in the military. So tonight I was thinking of a poem that expresses how I feel, we'll see how this goes.

It was always an idea
Join the services
Help my country
I know plenty that did
Some I used to call peers
Life has its own choices though
Because of disability I couldn't
So now I hear stories
I've listened to artist sing about it
I'm grateful for my freedom
I'm grateful for our military
I'm grateful for my country
And I'm proud of what we stand for
I may not be able to fight
Not in the physical war
No, but I can fight
In the spiritual war
In the emotional war
There's war here
No guns no bombs
But violence, poverty
Sinful nature
Wicked people
That I can fight against
That I can wage war against
There are all types of heroes
What type are you

Great Admirer

So tonight I spilled my guts about my family and more importantly my grandfather to a friend. I rarely talk about my past or my family life at all, and I think its because all this time I hadn't been appreciative enough of what they've done for me. So tonight being the fourth of July and traditionally my huge family would be out around a fire right now setting off fireworks, but over the last three years life has changed drastically. July 18th 2008 my grandfather passed away, changing everything I knew about life. I was angry at first, he was supposed to be there to help me through my first year of college, but he had held on long enough.

I can't be with you any more
I've taught you everything I know
It's time to embark
On your own journey
Life is just beginning for you
Mine however is ending
I know you may be angry
One day though
You'll understand
I'll always be with you
My legacy is yours to continue
I know you'll do me proud
Don't let the mistakes of the past
Hold you back from all your dreams
Make me proud
I know you will
I love you kid
I'll see you soon

Tree Dreams

So I'm writing this kinda early for my blog, but that's because I was chilling in my favorite tree listening to my favorite country artist and thinking about some stuff. Earlier while I was mowing grass I was thinking I got my headphones in, my sunglasses on, and the world turned off and I realized that's such a great way to think about life. Not really worrying about all the details of every day, just taking it day by day. Music has been my favorite way of expressing myself, no matter how I feel I know somewhere in my collection is a song or artist that hits the spot and I sing along loudly out by myself. So while I was in my tree I realized that's the place I go to really mellow out. That tree has meant a lot to me over the years. I was contemplated suicide from that tree, it taught me a lesson of its own and I've never thought about suicide after that day. I've gone to that tree to get so much of my life straightened out, its been my future planner tree, my regret leaving tree, and most of all its been my giver tree. So here is the poem that came about on that tree today.

I'm in my secret tree again
Dreaming of tomorrow
Forgetting about today
Singing along to the music
About life coming from my headphones
Knowing music expresses what I can't
I wouldn't want it any other way
Just today I learned new things
I can't wait til tomorrow
When new dreams are revealed
And old regrets let go
Life is full of surprises
Especially in this old tree

Once Upon A Wish

"My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish"

These words are words of inspiration to millions of people, and they are words that millions want to say but can never seem to find. So tonight they are my inspiration for my latest poem. The song entails that no matter what happens we wish the best for whomever we make be talking to. When life drags us down, this song is there to remind us that yes it gets better and someone wants us to have the best for ourselves. So tonight this is my wish.

Once I had made a wish
That life would lead me
On a journey
One worth remembering
One worth living
Some days I cursed it
Some I blessed it
Never did I regret it
You have come and gone
From my life to another
I wish you only the best
I wish you deepest of love
Most of all
I wish our paths meet again
Someone down the line
Still I dream on
Still I wish on
Wishing only to live
Wishing life at its greatest
For both you and me

Mountain

So today I had no idea what to write about, so I statused my facebook asking for help and I got one idea. Apparently no one actually reads my blogs so I don't know why I continue to write them, but it is my goal to do this for an entire year every day and that is what I will do. My friend suggested over coming barriers so here goes.

A story about life
Its simplicities
Its complications
When I hit a wall
I don't always see the door
Often fighting to go around
Looking for the easy path
Knowing not where to look
There's a door waiting to be opened
But my eyes see through it
Until I cry out
Angry and defeated
Then I see the door
Waiting patiently
Almost as if to say
"Why do you overlook me?"
My answer goes unsaid
My hand reaches out
The doorknob shiny and cold
Left untouched for too long
As I close the door behind me
The road ahead is none the straighter
Knowing soon
I'll find a new obstacle
Waiting for me to pass
Knowing I am strong enough
To keep on walking
No matter where life takes me

Childhood Memories

So tonight I was playing outside with my younger cousins and on my way back to my house I thought of an idea for another poem tonight. I had however ask for ideas but no one answered, so I'm going with mine. In another two months I'm going to begin my junior year of college, and its crazy how fast time has flown by. I remember when all day I would be outside playing by myself in no hurry to grow up or do anything else. So here is a nostalgic poem of childhood.

Times were different being young
All the hours outside
Creating scenarios
Starting new wars
Winning all the races
Bringing home the gold
Imagining new worlds
Creating new games
When it was time to come in
Legos, k'nects and playdoh where there
Opening brand new doors
Writing all new stories
Car derbies and army battles
Constructing tents of pillows, bed and blankets
Fighting monsters in the closet
When its bath time
The stings of cuts and scraps
Off to bed
To dream up new ideas for tomorrow

At a Start

So tonight I really have no idea what to type here, but I have to keep this up. The title has a sparking idea, so maybe I can go from there.

Ahead of me lies a line
One scuffed from those before
The path however
In no clear direction
I take a step forward
Knowing there's no turning back
Looking ahead
I smile to myself
Knowing my decisions
Are solely my own
Mistakes and achievements
Both are ahead
Friends and foes
Will come and go
Each new step
Is a new path forward
One gladly taken
One I'm ready to begin
And one I know
Will have a happy ending