Saturday, July 31, 2010


I want to say that every day, I pray for guidance and strength and every day I tell myself "Ok Jon you'll be alright today." Some times I think if I could just go some where with my music and not come out for a while I'd be back to where life is taking me and I'd stop worrying so much about the world around me. Being a Christian even to death often gets me criticized even in my own family. I know they would tell me they were just joking around but it really hurts that they don't see what this means to me. I worry deep into my spirit for all their lives they aren't saved like I am and they won't listen to me talk about it either. I just don't know what to do some days. Some times I just want to hide some where and spend a few days with God all alone. I wonder if that would get me seeing straighter. I guess only God would know.

I'm afraid of who I am
I'm not sure of who I'm supposed to be
I want to run far away
Can't anybody see
This look in my eyes
That says I want to hide
Leave this place
For somewhere new
For a time to get away
Leave this world behind
Just me and God
Him talking
Me listening
I know he loves me
He is taking care of me
But I am afraid
I don't like the judgment
It hurts me deep inside
Can't people see
This light in my eyes
The light that says
I know the truth
I want to share it
I want to run away
And leave them all behind
Let God hold me close
And take me from this world
To Him and my family in Christ
I want to get away from persecution and abandonment
To love and compassion
Can't they see in my eyes
That I just want to hide