It's Been Good

Can I hide this pain
I cry inside every day
Knowing you're one day closer to gone
Too many things I can't say
I don't have the words
I don't have the guts to say
Soon you'll be walking across that stage
Then you'll say your last goodbyes
You'll hop into your car
And be gone from my life
Moving on
Moving up
You're gonna go places
I'm so happy for you
Yet I wished you'd stay
Or take me with you
Soon enough
It won't even matter
You never did reciprocate these feelings
You were clear enough
So I'll play one last song
I'll write one last line
Then I'll depart

Thinking About You

I lie awake
Thinking about you
I can't believe how long it's been
Since I last held your hand
Since I last saw your face
Since I last kissed your forehead
I wonder
Do you ever lie awake
And think of me
Do you miss the way
I'd wrap my arms around you
For just a moment did it make you feel safe
I've been thinking about you lately
And I can see you
Standing at the door
Like last time I saw you
When we said our goodbyes

Moment of Time

I've been in a rut lately
Now its time to jump
Leaping forward
Moving fast
Time isn't slowing
I'm not done growing
So watch me go
I'm on the open road

Connection

Hesitation
Timidly I creep closer
Boldly I step
Yet fearfully I tremble
Daintily you look
Seductively you giggle
I try to still
The thunder in my chest
Awkwardly I reach out
Hoping for a connection
Gingerly your hand touches mine
Soft skin without blemish
Taking hold
Pulling me close
Running your finger
Along my arm
Lost completely
In your eyes
Mysterious yet unveiling
Whispering in my ear
Words that echo through my mind
Safe in my arms
Unsure of yourself
Lost in a moment
Found in each other

Who Are You

Chasing questions
With missing answers
Who are you
Where did you come from
I can't quite remember
Just how we met
Yet we seemed to have gotten along
Maybe you snuck in
Or maybe I blinked
Without even realizing
You somehow got close
Tell me a secret
A password to your heart
I promise to keep it
Like a key in a box
Hidden for the perfect time
When you place your heart with mine

City Lights

City lights
Blocking out
The blackest sky
A star ridden blanket
Hidden by
City lights
Walking the streets
Looking up
Seeing nothing
Because of
City lights
Singing softly
To God above
City lights
Obscure my view
Of God's great creation
Vast and endless
Masked behind
City lights
Loaded prayers
Heavy questions
Directed towards
City lights
God in Heaven
Hear my cries
As I stand
Under these
City lights

Who Am I

Who am I a heathen
That I can boast in Him
Who am I a heathen
That I can wear His name
Who am I a sinner
That He calls me His
Who am I a sinner
That I can share His Kingdom
Who am I a saint
Because He died in my place
Who am I a saint
For I am clothes with His Righteousness
Who am I a bride
For I am waiting for my groom
Who am I a bride
For I anxiously await the wedding
Who am I a son
That God will be my father
Who am I a son
To share a seat on the throne
Who am I
A beloved child of God

Vacation

Let's just jump in the car
Forget the world around us
Leave our past behind
Just for the weekend
Doesn't matter where we go
Just as long as no one knows
We'll escape the torment of work
We'll run from the friends we see too much
Let's just get away
A weekend free
Vacations are expiring
Warm nights passing by
Soon life takes a hold
So lets get away
Make our fantasy real
We don't need anybody else
Just me and you
On the open road
Forget about work
Forget about stress
It's me and you
Singing on the open road
Forget about dressing up
Skip the early bed time
It's just me and you
Driving without destination
Just me and you
Our own little vacation

Outward Appearance

Today I'm actually gonna go back a few days to a verse I feel God has been speaking to me through these last ten days that I've been gone. 1Sam 16:7

⁷But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart."

I heard this verse about three times before I read it in my memory verse while I was at Mahaffey Camp. I feel like God has been saying to me through this, that I mustn't judge my own outward appearance, not in the same way as Samuel was doing here, but I should look at my flaws and say to myself, "the Lord cannot use me for I am nothing." God knows my heart, he created me for something special and I cannot way to begin my work. In fact I feel like this week at camp I learned that I am more then suited for that which God has planned. God has called for me to be a Youth Pastor, to work with middle school and high school aged children. My heart explodes when I spend time with this age group, I have recently lived through it so I understand, but also I am someone who is really open and quite giddy most of the time. I'm not one to get uncomfortable much, and I'm not afraid to act like a fool a little bit if it gets the kids to laugh. Do I sometimes take it too far? Yeah, probably, but God is still molding me. The other way I need to look at this verse though, is that I shouldn't judge people by their appearance, and I often do, because God knows their heart and I often don't.

The whole story that this is entwined in is an amazing story of a Shepard becoming a mighty warrior, read the story of David in the book of 1 Samuel and find the strength of God in you to fight your own Goliathes.

Lord Bless You

Today I have very little to say, not because I don't want to say anything, but because I'm kinda stumped. We have started a new book today, and its one I'm even less familiar with then the last one. Today we are in the book of Numbers, I'm pretty sure its more laws and do's and don't but I'm not well versed in this book so I could be wrong. I do like the verse of the day though. It's pretty straightforward, and even if I could explain the context, I don't think that would do anything but make more confusion. So I'm just gonna write the verse and kind of let it go.

Numbers 6:24,25 The Lord bless you and keep you: The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you:

To me I feel like someone has prayed a blessing on me as I go my way. Having God's face shine upon me would be the greatest thing ever. However we know that God never shows his face or his full glory for a mere human could not handle it.

So I pray that your day is blessed, and I pray that if you don't know Christ, look through some of my previous blogs to see how you can come to know him. Also please contact me if you have any questions. You can look me up on Twitter @Bypain, or you can email me at silverstar_of_the_galaxy@yahoo.com

God bless, Jonny

Living Lovingly

Today, we have begun another new book. We have jumped into the book of Leviticus. Better known as the book of the laws. The whole book is mainly a list of does and don't and what to do ifs, and how to deal withs, and so often even Christians dread grudging through it. However the verse today is actually a good one. It's got a don't and a do in the same sentence.

Leviticus 19:18 You shall not take vengeance of bear grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

So this verse tells us not to get even with others, but to love on them instead. In all honesty, I know we often find this very difficult to do. As soon as someone hurts us we automatically think of ways to get them back, the truth is, the best way to get back at them is to not and to love them instead. By loving those who hurt us, we have the opportunity to show God's love through us instead of our own sinful life. When we love our neighbor as ourselves we learn to be better people. This world would be a lot better if we followed this command because too many people love themselves way too much, and they don't share the love with others. Of course if everyone loved everyone the way we were supposed to it'd be a utopia and everybody knows that's not possible, plus that would make the bible a lie because the world can never be perfect or even a utopia, at least not til the return of Christ. So start changing your attitude of revenge to an attitude of love, and see if it doesn't make a difference in your life.

If you struggle with this idea, don't be to quick to throw it away and forget about it. Work it over with God, He loves those who struggle and who cry and groan to him. I read once that often our best prayers are not words but groans and mutterings of a struggling heart.

If you haven't given your life to Christ and you don't feel that God is listening, just remember what Christ did for you. He died on that cross, so that whomever believed on Him would have eternal life. John 3:16

Glory Before Me

Today's  verse is again one that I cannot quite understand why its important to learn. In fact it makes no sense unless you read it in the context of the chapter.

We're still in Exodus and we're still traveling around in the desert. The scene of this particular verse is Moses on Mt. Sinai where he goes to talk to God and be in His presence. our verse is Exodus 34:6,7 The Lord passed before him and proclaimed," The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children;s children, to the third and fourth generation.

So in this verse we see that God passed before Moses, meaning Moses got to see the glory of God. if we look a few verses before this we see the reason that Moses is on the mountain with God. Moses had broke the two tablets that the ten commandments had been written on because of his anger at what the people were doing at the foot of the mountain while he was with God. So Moses is going back to God to ask for the Commandments to be rewritten. So God comes down in a cloud and stands with Moses.

Now we can look at the verse and understand it a little better now that the context has been revealed. These verses are God talking about himself. Only he can be this kind of loving God, to not give up on His people after time and time again they turn away from Him to worship things they created.  Not only that but He extends this love to the future generations.

So soak in this truth. God is forgiving and gracious, merciful and loving, steadfast and faithful, and on top of all that slow to anger. Being slow to anger is vitally important because otherwise there would be no world for us to be living in now. If you haven't experienced this truth, this love that God has for you, please cry out to Him, ask for His forgiveness, because He won't clear the guilty, and without Christ we are all guilty. But when you accept the free gift of Christ's death on the cross you are no longer viewed as guilty, but as a forgiven son or daughter of God.

Romans 3:23-24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus

The Top Ten

I'm sorry this one is being done super late, its been a crazy day. However, I didn't forget. Today's verse is actually a bit of a long one so instead of typing it all I'm just gonna say go here -> Laws.

Alright now that you've read that, you know those are what any and all Christian religions call the Ten Commandments. I really can't think of much to say, because these verses are pretty straightforward. However we do know that it's impossible to keep all these commands, and God knew this before he even decreed them. So why did he even bother? Because God is a God of forgiveness and grace, and also because he wanted us to see that we can't be perfect enough to get back into heaven and we won't be able to experience what Adam and Eve once had. So, this means God must have had a plan to redeem us from being unable to keep his commands. And He did, that plan was the death of Jesus His son on the cross. Jesus was the only man to never sin, and never had to die, but he not only died, but he bore the sins of the whole world past, present, and future, this caused his father God to turn His face away. So I encourage you to please if you haven't already give your heart to God. Surrender to Jesus Christ. Without his intervention no one could be given a second chance to experience eternity with God.

Doing as Commanded

Today's verse is a lesson to the Israelites. We've jumped through the entire book of Genesis and almost halfway through the second book of the Bible, titled Exodus. Since we've jumped right into the story I'll do a bit of summarizing to get us caught up. The rest of Genesis there are lots of great stories about people who follow God's commands and listen to His voice. There's Abraham, Joseph, Noah, Isaac, and probably more that's not coming to my mind. What we've missed in Exodus is the birth, and hiding of Moses. Moses gets picked up by Egyptian princess as he's floating in his basket down the Nile river. He grows up thinking he's a prince. One day he's walking through town and notices a slave driver beating an Israeli slave. Moses kills the slave driver. The slave gets angry and Moses runs away for fourty years for fear of his life. Moses meets God through a burning bush, God tells him to go back and lead the Iraelites out of Egypt. Moses tries to get out of it, and eventually God says fine take your brother Aaron and he will speak for you. Moses goes back to Egypt and with God on his side does a few miracles to try and get Pharaoh to let the people free. That doesn't work, so God sends plagues, seven to be exact. The last one Moses tells the Israelites to kill the first born lamb and smear the blood over their doorway so that when the spirit of God passes over the house their first born son will not be killed. So Pharaoh tells them to go. Then Pharaoh gets angry and sends the soldiers after them, they get trapped by the red sea start complain, God through Moses splits the red sea and leads the people to safety. Now we've come to a point where Moses had just giving the people a long list of blessings and curses, and commandments to follow. So here is the verse.

Exodus 15:26 saying, "If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your healer."

So this verse is telling the people that if they follow all the commands of God they would never receive the plagues that the Egyptians suffered. We know however that its impossible to keep all the laws, so there is a way out. God has grace for us.

So now we have a new form of grace and it comes through the death of Jesus Christ his son. So if we call upon Christ to be our savior we can receive that grace.

Romans 3:23, 24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,

Regret or Repentance or Something Else

Today's memory verse is a little confusing. Not confusing like what does it mean. It's a pretty straightforward verse. It's confusing in the sense of why do the makers of this particular Bible reading Devotional think that it's important to memorize. The verse is Genesis 4:23.

23 Lamech said to his wives: "Adah and Zillah, hear my voice:  you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me.

The first thing to notice here before we get into the verse is that Lamech had two wives. This is the first time in the bible that it is noted that a man has more than one wife. Is this important, for this verse no, in general that's still in the air.

Now for breaking down the verse itself. In order to better understand this verse we need to know the context. Chapter 4 of Genesis starts with the birth of Cain and Abel, which are the first two children born of a woman. The story continues with Cain becoming jealous of Abel because God favor's Abel's offering to God more then his own. Out of Cain's jealousy we have the birth of our very first physical human murder. God ask Cain where Abel is, and he lies and says he doesn't know. This harbor's God anger and he curse's Cain and all his descendants. Cain shall no longer be able to easily toil the land, and is cast out to be a wander. Cain becomes grieve because he is concerned that he will be killed by whoever finds him. So God still being the loving father has compassion on him and marks him, then says if anyone kills Cain God's vengeance would be seven times worse. Then we get the genealogy of the descendants of Cain until we come to the man Lamech. And so now we see that Lamech is like a great great grandson of Cain. So in this verse that we opened with he is repenting to his wives about the murder he committed because he fears punishment. If we read on to verse 24 we see the rest of what he was telling his wives. 24 If Cain's revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech's is seventy-sevenfold." So basically he is telling them they shouldn't worry because, hey if Cain gets away with murder and God was generous to protect him then he'll be even more generous to protect Lamech.


So I know this was a little long and had a lot in it, but I feel like without an explanation of the context this verse is almost meaningless. But also I'm begging to see that this verse is about pride, and just expecting God to do for you what He has done for others, even if you're not living righteously, or living for God. This one verse points out two sins committed by Lamech, 1. He married two women, 2. He killed a young man.

If this verse seems silly to you, or it just doesn't make sense, I encourage you to read the first four chapters of Genesis for yourself so you can better understand. But I beg you, don't expect things from God just because you see Him working in other peoples lives, or just because you think He owes it to you. God doesn't owe any of us anything. We all deserve the death that Cain should have suffered, but like Cain, God gave us a second chance through the death and resurrection of his only son Jesus Christ. So cry out to him for forgiveness of your foolish thinking. Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Blessed from the Start

Today's memory verse in Genesis 1:28.

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
This verse starts off with a very important sentence. God blessed them. This is major because it shows that God didn't just create man and woman and then kick them to the curb and tell them they were on their own. No, God blessed them. Basically He told them I will be here for you and you are my chosen creation. But it doesn't stop there. Then He gives them authority over basically all the earth. He wanted the first man and woman to have many offspring that would have authority over the earth and have God's blessing. It was the perfect command.

Now you can look around everywhere you go and see that we have greatly multiplied since the beginning, and we have taken dominion over almost every living creature on the earth, in the air, and in the sea. However, you also see that much of this world has fallen from doing everything to the glory of God, and being done with God's blessing. But it doesn't have to be that way, and it won't always be that way. Jesus came down to restore God's blessings to us by Jesus' death on the cross, and when he returns and creates a new heaven and new earth everything will be uncorrupted and beautiful again. But we aren't called to sit on the sideline and wait though. God wants us to do our part. Be a blessing to people, don't continue in the destructive ways of this world.

If you're a born again Christian and you aren't doing this, I pray that you study this passage and ask God to open your eyes and your heart to His blessings so that you can start being a blessing to others. If you aren't a born again Christian or if you are unsure if you are or not, I ask that you maybe open your bible (if you have one) or go to biblegateway.org and look up John 3:1-21. If you have more questions feel free to write me on here, or if you have Christian friends, or know any Christians, you can ask them.

Until tomorrow, I'll be praying for you all. God bless, and good day.

Creation from the Start

Today I started a new Bible reading plan. Its called Top Verses to Memorize. Today was day one of 443. Today's verse started us right at the start Genesis 1:1.

Gen1:1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

Looking at this verse I wondered why this verse was so important to memorize. I mean its pretty plain, but then I realized there are lots of people out there who don't even believe this verse. So to start off right, and to learn properly its important to understand the depth of this verse. God created the heavens and the earth. Before God there was nothing. There was a void. Just God, and nothing more. I know, some people are thinking, then where did God come from? This is one question I have no answer for. The only thing we know is that God in an uncreated being, and that he exist outside of time. So through trusting in the entire rest of the Bible, we have to trust that God not only exist, but he is an infinite being who can create and destroy as he wills. And the only way there can be a beginning is if he created it. So this verse is so important, because it sets up not only the story of creation, but the evolution of God's plans and God's creation.

So until tomorrow, meditate on this verse and ask God to reveal something new to you through it.

ReExamination

This weekend I went along with Pastor Bryan to a retreat in Jumonville. The retreat was basically for pastors to get together and learn new things about the way ministry is changing, and how they need to find new way to be evangelical and less pulpit stationed. A lot of the pastors that were there are beginning to realize that old ways of ministry aren't working like they used to. I think its awesome to see that pastors are still willing to learn whats new and whats a better way to reach people. I learned a bit from them and I am blessed that I was able to go. We're learning that the whole mega church idea is not biblically correct. In America we want quantity and we often let quality slack. With slacking quality comes diminishing quantity. So we need to find ways to may church less boring and ways to reach out more to the lost people. Its time to step back from the pulpit and step out into the streets. We need to meet the people where they are, and not worry so much about getting them into the building that we call the church, but we need to focus on getting them to the community of believers that we call the church. Helping the lost people to find Jesus is more important then helping them find a place to go every Sunday. So I'm excited to see the newest move of the church. Its time to think missional and its time to get out there and reach the people where they are. And that's exactly what I see happening with this retreat and with my own church.

I might start using my blog more often again and maybe start using it as an outreach. Maybe its time for me to step up and let God use me for His purpose. Because, see, when we are saved and we become believers in Christ we are all called to ministry. You don't have to go to seminary and get a degree, you need the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. Reach out to your lost friends. Invite them to do stuff with you that may invoke biblical questioning or just spiritual talk in general. And most importantly remember you never have to push the subject. Let it flow naturally and remember to pray. God honors your prayers and your doing His works. So God bless. I love you all.

New Lens

Today I woke up, praying to God. Asking Him why her. He knows I love her. He knows I care. Why when I finally felt He was answering my prayers and giving me happiness, does this enter the picture. Then I came to my senses. Its not about me, its not about what I wanted. So I ask His forgiveness, and I asked to see it from her perspective. She's not scared, she's accepted it. So I have too. Today marks our one month anniversary, and she's in the hospital. Last night I had sent her a text explaining just how I felt. She means the world to me and she knows it. I know she's going to be ok, and I know I'll hear from her today. So I'm going to be strong, and I'm going to be everything I can for her.

So from now on I'm going to look at this world through a different lens. Selfish please, and selfish prayers, are out the window. I'm thanking God every day for waking me up again. I'm thanking God every day for the little things I once took for granted. I know I may have difficulties, and I may have my own issues, but I'm grateful for everything else I have. God has blessed me in so many ways and it makes the few flaws in my life so meaningless. So when I go through my day if you see me smiling you'll know why, and I hope you can be blessed by it. I'm not writing this to shove religion, or God down anyone's throat. I'm writing this so you may have a perspective of how I feel and what I've learned. I pray that you would be blessed, and I pray that I can be a blessing.

Come Back to Me

I sang you a song today
But you just ran away
I couldn't help but cry
Thinking of the times
Together forever
That's what you said
Now I'm standing here alone
With just these words on my lips
How could you change
I can't understand
Where did everything go wrong
Please come back to me
Tell me you love me again
I can't keep going
I can't stop crying
Please come back to me