Tonight We Will Dream

We will dream tonight
Of all the pretty lights
The ones we see
On the television screen
They look so bright
But they have no color
Our dreams in black and white
Show the shades of gray
But hide the truth
Those lights cover up
All the sin and destruction
Going on in the city
We can't see
What those shades of gray keep covered
But we dream nonetheless
Of our lives
Surrounded by those lights
They look so happy
Everything looks perfect
Tonight we'll dream
Of the shades of gray
Dimming out our sins
Making our lives
Look better than they are
Tonight we will dream

Under This Old Tree

Under this old tree
I dream of a day
When the world is right
Under this old tree
I see Jesus descending
Reclaiming what is His
Under this old tree
I hear a melodious chorus
Sing praises to our King
Under this old tree
God has given me visions
Hope for the future
Under this old tree
I see children free and safe
Running and laughing
Under this old tree
I sing of glory
Praises to my Savior
Under this old tree
I pray to God above
That his kingdom would return
Under this old tree
I know that I am saved
I know Jesus died for me
Under this old tree
His blood was poured
For all the world to see
On this old tree
Jesus hung for our sins
And gave us eternal life
On this old tree
I follow after Christ
Crucifying my flesh daily

God In You

A conversation
A story told between two
Don't follow where I go
For my path is not straight
Follow the path of light
I am not where I need to be
But don't you love me
Don't you want me
To be with you always
Don't lead me astray
Can't you see
I'm fighting these demons inside
Don't let me bring you down
But with the help of Christ
You can win this battle
For He has already been victorious
I've tried can't you see
I still can't measure up
Though that doesn't matter
Jesus will meet you where you are
He will stoop to pick you up
Don't walk in the shadows any more
I don't know if I can do it
I'm a sinful human
God can't want that from me
God wants perfection
Only through Jesus can we
Reach that perfection
Follow Jesus
Die to flesh
Crucify your daily sins
Become a body for Christ
He will guide you
Only if you let Him
Only if you ask Him
God I know you can heal me
Send Your Spirit upon me
Guide me on the path of light
God I want You in my life

Sing and Dance

Sing oh children
Lift up your voices
Dance oh loves
Be at peace tonight
God is with you
God hears your songs
And sees your dance
He is well pleased with you
His heart swells
When He sees you so
For He knows
You do it for Him
So sing oh children
And dance for love
Bring back the peace
And the joy
You once knew
Oh lovers of God

A Messy Ring and A Broken Heart

I saw you again the other day
In a dream I had
You were looking blue
So I ask what was up
You just waved your hands
Then you began to cough
And I saw that you couldn't breathe
I quickly got behind you
And tried to help you out
After a few seconds
Something flew from your mouth
It was the ring I gave you
I ask why it was in your mouth
And you told me
You were taking it off
To give it back
That you and I just weren't meant to be
But you loved me
And you would miss me
But you could never see me again
So with a kiss
You walked away
Leaving me standing
With a messy ring
And a broken heart

God's Guidance

I can't express the way I feel
This torment deep inside
I want to scream
And destroy things
I can't fight this frustration
Life just keeps pushing
I can't seem to stay in the clear
Always being pushed til the brink
Always being tested to a new extreme
Time and time again
I find myself on my face
Pleading God to take this all away
To take me from this pain
I know He hears me
I know he won't let me go too far
He only allows as much as I can handle
I just got to learn to handle
God I'm begging you
Lift me up
Carry me while I am down
God keep me from temptations
Ones so easy to slide into
God let your hand be with with
Guide me through the valley
Help me reach the summit once more

Only You

I am captured by your love
Only you can make me feel this way
Nothing can compare
When I talk with you
Late at night
I feel like I could never sleep
And keep hearing your voice
Til the day I am deceased
Your love keeps me surrounded
Happy and lively
None can place a finger on it
None can change my mood
Only you
Can melt my heart
And freeze my time
All at the same time
You keep me waiting
Til I see you again
My arms are aching
Til I can hold you again
Until that day
I'll keep my dreams
Focused on you
And our love growing stronger

All You Have to Do is Ask

Today I read the prayer of jabez. For those of you who don't know what that is, its a highly written about prayer that is randomly thrown into the middle of a very long genealogy story. And it is only one sentence long but it is so important and so influential. Today I also hung out with some friends but as soon as alcohol was introduced I decided it was time for me to make my leave, because a true Christian doesn't want to be around that, plus it looks kind of off. So instead of partying I said my goodnight and went home to finish reading and to talk to my roommate for a while. Now I'm sitting down to write this blog and I'm wondering what to write as a poem tonight. I want to be impressionable about who I am in Christ, and I want people to see me and really see how God is working in me, but thats something that is a day by day thing.

Don't be afraid child
I am with you
Your path I have chosen
I knew you before you were in the womb
I loved you before the Earth
I want to bless you
I want you to know me
I am God your father
I have prepared a place in heaven
For you to be
When I call you home
All I ask
Is that you put your faith in me
Trust me with your life
I will keep your path straight
All you have to do is ask
I will bless you abundantly
All you have to do is ask
I will make you a fisher of men
Just follow my son
Obey my commands
Love everyone
I will be with you
Trust in me
And your life will be blessed

Another Year at School

So another year at CalU is about to start. Our motto CALU4LIFE!!!! Because you legitimately never leave Cal, they find ways to keep you there four semester after you were supposed to graduate!!! Anyway that's not what I was going to write about. I talked to my girlfriend today for the first time in what seems like ages. I miss her very much and I hope to see her soon. But talking to her has made me see how exciting college can be. She's going to be a freshman this year at UPJ and it makes me think back to my freshman year. All the memories I had planned to keep. Now I look back at my freshman year and wish I had made more memories than, but its not to late, I've got two more years and I'm gonna make the most of it while I still have the time.

I'm staring at my life
Wondering where
All the years have gone
College is almost over
Two more years
That's all I have left
Then its hello world
Are you ready for me
Cus honestly I'm not ready for you
Life is a rushing wind
Gone before you know
Make what you can of it
You only get one
College is supposed to be
The best years of your life
So make the best of it
Don't let it pass you by
Too many opportunities will arise
That will never come again
So make the best of your time
Live a little
Have some freedom
But know the limits
Don't get out of hand
But don't be afraid
To take a few chance
College will go quickly
Don't let it slip away

Follow the Leader

Hmmm, today, what shall I write about you. You and I had lots to think about and we had little else to do. I watched Dead Poets Society today it was great, I saw it once before but I wanted to rewatch it. It intrigued me so very much, and now that I'm older it made more sense and was a lot deeper to me. Robin Williams by far was a greater actor in the early to mid 90s when he did serious drama with his comical genius mixed in. A lot of his newer stuff just don't match up. But any way that was all I really did, beside take a lot of time to think and read. Today I've been trying to find answers to questions I don't have. People say that you can find all the answers in the bible, and I believe it, but if you don't know the questions you won't know the answer when you see it. So today was one of those day where I kept hoping to come across some scripture that jumped out and me and was like hey I'm the answer you are looking for, unfortunately this did not happen. However I did feel as though I had gotten to spend more much needed time with God than I had done most of the summer. And I had some crazy thoughts go through my head some sounded really good so I made them facebook statuses, and now I shall make them a poem and grow it into something extraordinary like every poem should be!

Gotta take a break from this life from time to time
Gotta let your mind be free
So God can take control
You can't afford to lose your soul
Not like this
You gotta give it up
To the one who gave it all away
Just so you can be saved
Don't waste life
Live it right
You've got so much potential
Why you throwing it away
Don't you know
God has got your back
Your life
He planned that out
Before the world began
He knows you inside and out
So why not let Him
Take control
Give it up to Him
Watch the transformation begin
God loves you
He will use you
You just gotta let Him
Be blessed my brothers and sisters in Christ
Follow the leader
Woah that ain't me
Jesus is your leader
I'm a follower
Just like you
We all stumble
We all fall
But God is there
Let Him pick you up
He'll carry you
Til your ready to walk again
And He'll stay by your side
Til He calls you home again
So why not take a chance
God won't let you down
I'm living proof
God can love anybody
You just gotta ask

Jesus in Me

Today has been a long day. Its given me a lot of time to think. Sadly however I did no such thing. I did do a lot of work and really spend time in worship most of the day because I listened to Hillsong United most of the day. So I've had time to worship, and I also had time to talk to God. I mainly just kept praying my car would continue to run well and thanked Him for another glorious day. Every day is a new day to make people see who you are. And every day is a chance to say hey look at me I have the Holy Spirit burning within me. Some times though it seems as if no one notices. Other times you wonder if you are doing enough to make it show. Like today for instance I worked all day without a grumble, and I didn't bother anybody the whole time, in fact they kept coming out to check on me. I politely thanked them when they offered a drink or whatever weather I excepted or not. But I don't know that they could see Jesus in me, but I tried to be a representative of Jesus. So today I even tried hard to keep my patience while driving home even though all I thought about was getting back getting a shower and finding food. I was just plain worn out and I didn't have a lot of patience with anybody driving around me. So I tried really hard to be in good spirits about it, and I think for the most part I was. Up until I saw the train in Brownsville and I was dead set on beating it into West Brownsville where I had to cross the tracks to get to my place. Luckily I did, and I was relieved. So tonight I've really rambled on but its ok because lately my blogs have been kind of short and my poems kind of alright, and tonight I'm still debating on a topic to write on even as I continue to enlongate this blog. So here we go.

Do people see you
When they look at me
Do I represent
You in all I do
Or do I do things for me
Am I walking the path You chose for me
Or am I making my own decisions
God protect me
Keep me blessed
In Your mercy
Let people see
Your Holy Spirit
Dwelling inside me
I want to be Your light
In this dark gruesome word
Jesus,
Do they see You in me?

A Poem

So today has been an entertaining one. My car died on the highway, I stained a deck all day and than I made it home safely again. I gotta go back out tomorrow though. Because of this I have had no time to even pretend to think about a poem, however I'm sure I can come up with something.

I made this poem
A poem for you
I wanted to write
Something nice
Just for you
So I thought of this poem
And I thought of you
Now here is a poem
One you can enjoy
Because I wrote it
With you in mind
You are the meaning
Behind this poem
And though it is simple
It is filled with Love
Because I wrote this poem
Just for you

Demon or Holy Spirit

Tonights poem is brought to you by the Holy Spirit!

Deep inside
A demon lies
He waits to attack
When I am at my weakest
He sneers at me
He mocks my love
He tells me that I'm no good
But he is not alone
For in fact
A shining light
Pushes him far below
The shining light
Is the Holy Spirit
Who guides my steps
And protects my soul
He tells me that he loves me
And I was made in His image
I am God's son
I have nothing to fear

To You oh Lord

Today has been another great day. God has been teaching me constantly. I know that even though I have little patience with other drivers and I'm quick to anger, God is teaching me to be less of these things. I also learned about God's covenants. There were a few and I've learned some new ones that I didn't know about, which was kind of cool. Being back in Brownsville has been great so far, I'm hoping things still go well over the next few days. My knee needs a break from all the running around I've been doing. So all this rambling and really no topic for a poem, how sad.

To You oh Lord
I run with joy
To You oh Lord
My heart is racing
To You oh Lord
My soul belongs
To You oh Lord
I will sing my praises
You have taught me much
You have given me life
You Lord
Have raised me up
Brought me from death
To Life eternal
To You oh Lord
I owe my life

You

So today has been an extremely long day. I do not want to have to make that drive any time soon again. But alas I am safe in my new home and I will slowly begin to unpack everything and make it home to me. So tonight I've got to come up with a poem and I really have no idea what to write.

You
Bright and bubbly, you
Shinning like a star, you
Lovable and caring, you
Always cheerful never fearful, you
Complete me, you
Make my world go round, you
Tell me how much you love me, you
Always there for me, you
Bring color into my life, you
I thank God for, you
I will always love, you
The girl of my dreams, you
Above the rest, you
Perfect for me

My Love

So tonights poem is brought to you by the letter love. Cause when you find it you know it. I've been in love with this girl for far too long, and now my prayers are that we can keep it together. So a poem for my love.

You got me flying high
My mind up in the sky
My heart's aflutter
You make me smile
Like no one else
Babe you are my everything
Don't let nobody
Tell you any different
I love the way you laugh
I love the way you smile
Your voice is the instrument
I want to hear
Every night before I sleep
Your hands are perfect
Just for mine
I want to hold you tight
All through the night
Whisper I love yous in your ear
Never let you go
You are my baby
I love you sweet lullaby

On Facing Freedom

I have one day left at home and I just don't know what to do any more. I can't stand staying home, but I can't stand being anywhere else either. I'm so antzy to be gone, but I'm stuck with this feeling that I'm not really ready to go. Like something is holding me back. I wish I could wake up and it be Tuesday tomorrow, but I know I still have a day left to go and its tearing me up inside. I have everything but my clothes packed and ready to be thrown in the car but its killing me to see it piled up. I don't know what to do, my brain feels as though it might explode. Normally right now I'd be smoking an entire pack of cigs or drinking until I couldn't feel, but I gave that all up knowing God would take care of me. Yet I struggle at times like this when it feels as though God is on the wayside just watching me struggle. I know it isn't true, but it feels like it is and its eating me inside.

It's eating me inside
This nagging deep inside
I want to be free
Yet I'm half afraid to leap
I need a little push
That bit of encouragement
The voice that says
"Hey, you got this"
I've been here before
But somehow it feels different
Maybe knowing
I'm more free than before
Maybe knowing I really have control
This world that I've been going after
Is finally at my feet
But suddenly I'm not sure
Am I ready for this
I didn't ask for worries
I didn't ask for troubles
All I ask for
Was freedom from home
This is more than freedom
This is newdom
Nothing is as I thought it should be
I can't run back like I did before
It's time to face this
With my feet firmly planted
My mind firmly set
I can do this
I was born for this
I will overcome this

Rock Bottom

So today I had some fun outing with my female cuz. We hardly agree on anything, however, we do agree on fashion. We both have this thing for needing to look good at all times. Our fashions may be a little different than the norm but that's what makes us unique and what bonds us. Than my sister and I went to the drive in again and we watched Despicable Me and The Other Guys. The first was adorable. The second I could live without. Tonight I am blanking severely on what to write about. And I'm running low on ideas, but that fact alone can actually become an idea within itself, so lets see how it goes.

I am hitting rock bottom
My ideas are waning
Emotions are lost
Words not found
Poetry not written
I am at rock bottom
Once I thought
I would never
Be low on ideas
I am quickly learning
My ideas
Are quickly burning
I am at rock bottom
I need some inspiration
Something that sparks my mind
I need new emotions
To bring back
The life in my words
I am at rock bottom
My poetry
Is low on feelings
I can't find the words
To bring my emotions to life
I am at rock bottom

Tree Farm

Today was a great day. I got to spend time with my cousins. We beat each other up on the trampoline, than we played halo together for a while. My sister was having dental work so me and my older cousin babysat as well. We learn that Evey loves Lady Gaga and she will boogey away to it. But honestly that wasn't what made it great. What made it great was how God always brings things in your life together. For the last month I had been doing a devotional about how God has planted man like a tree by the stream so that it could grow strong and dig its roots deep. The whole devotional talked about how a man was supposed to be like a tree. Tonight my best friend and I went for a drive and he took me out to a tree far he works at. And it's amazing how God just connects things in your life like that. And we also saw a fawn down at the tree farm and its just been an amazing night filled with God. So I've decided to write a poem tonight about trees and being like one and whatever else decides to flow.

On some days
I am like a tree
Strong and tall
On others I am
A brittle branch
Waiting to be pruned
I know that
God is life
He is the stream
By which I am planted
God is the farmer
Who cuts off
The dead branches
Keeping me
Nourished and healthy
For I am His tree
He planted me for a purpose
He would not let me welter
He will keep me strong
For times of trouble
My roots
They've buried deep
My branches
Reach high
I am like an evergreen
Surviving through the worst
Growing all the time
God is my farmer
I am his tree

Time

So I've been struggling with some thoughts lately and I've been listening to a bunch of old songs that used to mean the world to me and now they take me back to a lot of old memories. I some times wish I could have froze time in those moments when the answer never seemed easier. When I never felt happier. Now I just keep praying that some how I can go look forward and be able to know. Just what it is I'm really looking at. When those easy grateful times come around I'll know what to do instead of what I think I should do. Life is a series of choices some times you walk down the path and realize it may have been easy but man was it wrong. So that is where this poem comes from.

I've got a lot on my mind
I just want to take the time
To figure it all out
Just give me my space
Can't you see I'm suffocating
I don't know what to say
Just give me some time
My mind is full of commotion
I need to straighten it out
My heart is fighting my head
My head is telling me not to listen
But I don't know any more
Just give me some time
I promise I'll figure it out
I won't let you down
No I won't let you go
Just give me some time

The Fire

I had a bonfire tonight kind of as my last hoorah before I head back to school. Things are definitely going to be different this year. I won't be returning home like I used to. I'll be able to say "Hey, I don't want to go home, so I don't have to." Yet a part of me wonders will I still want to? I mean I love my family, but some times I just keep thinking I'll be better off on my own. I sure hope I'm right. But I kinda just wrote this poem as a way of dealing with a number of things. The loss of my pap, the loss of a girl I once knew well and loved, and the loss of a few other good friends. I actually wrote this poem before I wrote this excerpt. So enjoy the poem.

There was a fire tonight
But you weren't there
I felt alone
My arms felt bare
I miss you here with me
Things aren't the way they used to be
My life is so empty
But you can't see it any more
You aren't here with me
And my heart feels as if it tore
Come back to me again
You used to my friend
Times have changed so much
I'm sorry it had to end
I had a fire tonight
It was cold without you
I saw the stars twinkling
They reminded me of who
You and I used to be

Make A Wish

So I'm writing this one rather early. It''s because I've been working on it since I laid my head down last night. Its a poem of a memory, but also a poem of a longing. I have long been in love with the girl that I wrote this for, though things don't really want to work out for us. I will always love her and she knows it. Some times I wish I could go back to the nights when we were together and take her in my arms and show her how I really felt. However there's no reasons for regrets and there's no reason to wallow on the past. What is done is done, I cannot change it. Whatever the good Lord wills for me and for her is in His hands. If we come together again, than praise God, if we go our separate ways than praise God. So here it is a poem on wishing.

Make a wish
The stars are out tonight
Do you see that
They look like a candle
Quick make a wish
Before it fades away
Don't tell me what you wished
Just hold me tight
Promise you'll love me
From this night on
I couldn't live another night
Being apart from you
I love you too much
My heart could not bear
If you told me you didn't
Show me a smile
One brighter than the stars
Let me know that you love me
Can't we stay in this moment
When all seems perfect
Your warmth close to me
Your kisses sweet as honey
So make a wish
A wish so real
It just has to come true
A wish for me and you
That our love would grow
No matter what happens
We'd always make it through
Make a wish
For the happiness you've been finding
That it would last the span of time
Here in my arms is where you belong
So quick make a wish
The night is almost gone
So make a wish
That my wish would come true

On Being Obedient

So today I had an interesting talk with my best friend about what he wants to do with his life. God doesn't always call us to do what we want to do, in fact He often calls us to do that which is furthest from our hearts. If we are obedient to Him He will bless us plentifully. Often this is easier said than done. However prayer and giving your life to God can begin to make this a simpler deal. So tonight I want to write about being a Son or daughter of God and what being obedient means.

Father not my will but Yours
Break down my walls
Teach me new boundaries
Father not what I want but You
Make my life a sacrifice to You
Let now my wants hold me back
Cleanse my heart Lord
Make it a pure heart
Not my will nut Yours
I am not here for me
Father I will serve You
All the days of my life
Teach me Your will
Strengthen me in that which I am weak
Use my lows for my highs
Father not my will but Yours
I will bow my knee before You
My King of Kings
I will do as You command
Lord above all else
Father not my will but Yours

On Facing Demons

So today was actually kind of a boring day. I finally was able to go out and drive through a city and on the highway by myself with out my family breathing down my back. Yeah I know I'm 20 why are my parents still like that. Well it only took two years of actually having my license to be able to drive without someone trying to tell me what to do. Plus its my car so all the better to be free in. But other than that nothing really happened today. So I really have no idea what to write about. Well hopefully that little bit of youtubing helps we'll see.

Can't fight these demons any more
They've reached deep inside
They've taken hold of my heart
Can't you see this pain in my eyes
Where are you now
I need you so bad
I can't find you though
You said you'd be there always
Won't you take these demons away
I'm hurting in the worst way
Father I'm crying out to you
I'm breaking my chains for you
My heart is in pieces
Please mend them
Make me new
I am your creation
Don't let these demons destroy me
The agony is overwhelming
Your love is overpowering
Please shine your light
Bright into my heart
Scare these demons away
And take your place
In my heart

On Getting Older

My car is fixed and I could take off if I wished, but I've got stuff here yet. Some times I think it'd be easier for me to take off and begin my life out there at school in a new place. Other times I feel I'm not really ready to make a life of my own. I mean, it won't really be like I can't drive home when I feel lonely or when I miss my gram too much. I mean my sister moved to Alaska when she got married, that was really hard on her because she couldn't just come back when she wanted. She adjusted well after a few years I know it was rougher once pappy passed away. I had hoped he'd be around for my first year of college but God had other plans. Now its about time, I truthfully took responsibility of what I want in life. No more playing games and saying oops when I screw up. Its time to get my head straight and start living like a man.

I've come so far
You've helped me grow
It's time to go
I've got to make it
I've got to be my own person now
You've taught me well
I'll take the lessons
I'll remember them well
Its time for me
To be who I want to be
Its time for me
Too make a name for myself
You can't take care of me any more
I had hoped you'd be there for the start
But I made it through
I have a few new scars
But I know my mistakes
You'd be proud of me now
I'm going to be alright
Life is just beginning
I'm taking on responsibilities
Just like you said I would
I'm growing up
To be the man you hoped I be
I am going to be fine
I'm my own person now

On Becoming Patient

So, today I got the chance to go fishing again. I went by myself. I decided, it would be a chance to get away from the hubub of life and have a bit of time with God. Unfortunately I have this really bad habit of carrying on conversations with random voices in my head, so it wasn't really the time with God that I had hoped. Plus I just have no patience so I'm not the greatest of fisherman. But I did have some thinking time and I did think about being fisher of men and not just a fisherman. Peter was a fisherman and Jesus called him from his fishing life to become fisher of men. So I thought, well maybe the trick lies in being a real fisherman, but without patience its not always easy. So a poem of patience.

Patience my child
Do you not know
Not everything comes quickly
My children have been waiting
nearly two thousand years
For the return of my kingdom
You can't even wait two hours
For a fish to bite
Patience my child
Will lead you to wisdom
Patience will lead you to me
Patience is a virtue
With Patience comes calmness
With patience comes new horizons
Love becomes stronger
Life becomes easier
You and I become closer
Patience my child
That is all that you need
Wait and pray
Be vigilant tonight
Learn of patience
Patience my love
I will come back
You just have to learn patience

From Words to Poetry

Struggling tonight to write just about anything.

Everything is falling through
I can't believe that my mind is blank
Summer is ending what do I got to show
School is warming up, getting ready to start up
Heading back real soon and I ain't even sure I'm ready
Its a brand new ball game, I better not strike out
This is all I got left
If I let myself down I ain't got no one to blame
Me myself and I that's all I really have
I got a family and friends that I depend on
But at the end of the night it all falls on me
What I do, and the choices I make
They don't make them for me
I can't blame them for my falls
Its up to me to show the world
I am ready for any obstacle they put in my face
No they can't keep me down.
No they won't push me around
This is my life, my game
I'll play it my way
And God'll guide my step, every day
God has got my back my front my all around
I'll step in faith through this world
Because the evil all around me falls apart
Just like a shredded paper heart

About Goodbyes

So tonight I got to see Toy Story 3 and it ends rather sadly, however this was not really my inspiration for the poem tonight. I actually wrote it before I did this part because it hit me hard and I let it flow. So often we don't want to say goodbye because it hurts us too much and we're too afraid to cry. I have learned to say goodbye a few times and it always ended in tears. I've recently lost a friend who once said I won't say goodbye because goodbye means gone forever and I refuse to let you out of my life. Now she won't even talk to me. I miss her now and again, but I told her last we talked that I'd give her all the space she needed and no matter what I still loved her. I guess maybe some times goodbyes are easier then so long for nows. So here is my goodbye.

It takes a lot to say goodbye
But it takes a heart to start to cry
Don't think about the future
Focus on the past
Life is always gonna have its goodbyes
Don't let tomorrow come early
Stay by my side tonight
Remember all the fun
Remember all we had
I'll never forget about you
Just promise to never forget me
You and I were meant to be
This I promise just wait and see
I won't say goodbye tonight
I'll just hold on tight
If I start to cry
Don't be afraid to hold me closer
I'll love you forever
Just don't let me go
Don't say goodbye tonight
Because those words hurt too much
Goodbye means forever
I won't let that happen
So farewell for now
Until we meet again

Run Away

Tonight I think I'm going to write about running away. When your problems finally get to a point where you want nothing more then to run away from everything. Find a place to escape from reality. Some times its alright to run. Some times running actually leads us to something better. We are called to run away from that which tempts us to sin. We are called to not conform to this world but run from its sinful ways. So some times running is good. A poem of running

No where to turn
I begin to run
Quickly to something new
I can't deal with the pain
I need to escape
I need to get away
Before I get defeated
It's time to run
I need a new direction
Show me another path
I can't stay any longer
I need to get away
You don't know my problems
Don't beg me to stay
I want to run
In the opposite direction
Don't try and hold me back
I can't bear the weight
I have to run away
Can't you see my pain
Can't you understand my hurt
I must run away
To a new beginning
Run away
To a new life
Where pain and anguish
Have no control
I must run away

To My Mother

So tonight I was texting with my mother for a while, and the significance of this is the fact that I was actually talking to her. My mother and I never talk. I just refused for years to talk to her because she had basically abandoned my sister and I when we were younger. So I hadn't seen her for around eight years and suddenly she wanted to be back in our lives. Well With everything my family had said about her I had wanted nothing to do with her. She may have given birth to me but she wasn't my mom. But more recently I have forgiven her in my heart and I have met with her a couple times over the last two years. Now I am beginning to text her and actually take time to talk to her and I feel like a part of me is saying just give her a chance show her the love of Christ. So tonight my poem is about her.

Where were you mom
Throughout my childhood
Not a picture of us to be found
You made some poor decisions
I love you still
You quit seeing me
I quit caring
Mom where were you
When I road my first bike
When I first learned to drive
When I out on that cap and gown
Mom I know you wanted to be there
Mom you waited too long
There's not much for you to be in my life
You missed all the important things
Mom I still love you
Can't we turned back the time
Show you the reruns of my life
Mom you missed so much
Mom don't cry
I'm still your son
I'm the baby
But I'm all grown up now
And you missed it all
I still love you mom

Paved or Rugged

Look at the path you follow the most what does it look like? Often times we take the path that's been beaten before us but some times we decided to take the path less traveled to quote Robert Frost. Today I celebrated a my aunt's 50th birthday. I kept saying I can't afford to get old I'm going to work with kids most of my life. Then I was driving aimlessly around with my best friend and we were talking about God and evolution and things that are in the schools and not in the schools because of how this world is disintegrating and I just think that so often we follow the path of those that came before us instead of making our own. So tonight I wanna write about taking a different path.

I've been here before
The fork in the road
I look and see
Briers and thickets on one path
On the other a well paved road
That road worn before me
By many whom taught me well
But now I am on my own
So what path should I take
Be your own person is what I was told
Make your own choices
But does that mean I can't follow you
No but don't make the same mistakes
So here I am
At the fork in the road
The scarier one to my right
The paved to my left
I take my step of faith
God will protect me
As I walk through the briers
And stand on the thorns
This is my life
I'll choose my own path
God is with me always
I have nothing to fear
I can make my own path
And when I look back
I'll know it was best